My Mommy

I have been thinking a LOT lately. I have a lot on my mind and not the ability to speak it all, so I will write it. If you know me you know this is not "normal". I am usually out spoken as I like to call it and "open opinionated" as George calls it. My mom has been on my mind a LOT lately. I try my hardest to stay positive about everything because she is such a positive person and not worried at all (at least that is how she acts/sounds when we talk). I sometimes get MAD at the WHY's in life. I am the type of person that would like answers and sometimes more than one answer is necessary for me fully understand. I know that I should let everything go and pray, knowing that He has a plan and reason for everything. I just don't get why there are people that DON'T live their lives the way they should and everything seems to be just fine. Yet, my mom for example, is a STRONG Christian, loving, kind, gentle, good hearted woman of God and yet she was diagnosed with ANOTHER brain tumor!!!! I am mad, hurt, upset, confused, you name it I am feeling it!!! How much can one person handle before their bodies just give up? WHY now, after dealing with all this are the tumors showing up in other places now.My mom was supposed to have brain surgery on March 8 to remove her most recent brain tumor but during her pre-op assessment they discovered a "spot" on her lung. The pulmonary doctor decided it would be best to postpone the brain surgery until they could do a biopsy on her lung. The biopsy on her lung was done on St. Patrick's Day. The doctor, who has been the lead pulmonary doctor at Loma Linda (her hospital) for 30 years, assured her that it was just *some fancy tumor word that I can't remember* (common in people over 50 who live in the desert ot dry climates) and nothing to worry about. Yesterday she went in to meet with him to discuss her results. To the doctors suprise, and our families too, it was diagnosed as a meningioma, the same kind of tumor in her brain. The doctor had NEVER seen this happen. The tumor in her lung will have to be removed but it is not as dangerous as the one in her brain so they will move forward with removing the brain tumor on April 19. Rylee and I have our tickets purchased and are leaving on April 16-23 to be in California with my mom. I can't wait to see her, put my arms around her and just enjoy every day with her. Seeing my mom and Rylee together warms my heart like no words can describe. The bond that they have is beautiful! All I can do is PRAY, PRAY, PRAY and PRAY some more that God gives her more time with us here on Earth because the thoughts of her not being here while Rylee grows up just KILLS me.

That is all for now, I am going to go pick up Rylee from school..........